阳台

最近把空置的阳台布置了一下，添购了新的桌椅和秋千。
有风的夜晚很凉爽，还可以遥遥地跟阿公对唱山歌。
真的听得见哦！
看，子昀也来凑热闹，学BRYAN的手势。

帮我谢谢你的爸爸

今天松镙锶丁时卡住了，于是叫同事帮忙。
事毕，我对他说：＂嘿谢了！＂
同事甩甩头回说：＂哎呀我又没帮到什么。＂
电光火石下我突然吐了这句话：＂那帮我谢谢你的爸爸！＂
同事blurr了：＂干吗咧？＂
＂哦，帮我谢谢他的精子帮了我！＂

A funny conversation

Today I received a call from a telemarketer, and I think the conversation is somehow interesting.

<-- after she failed to promote -->
she : So you really don't wanna consider to meet our agent?
me : Oh I am sorry, I really can't, I already have an agent.
she : Is your agent a guy?
(What on earth make her ask this question)
me : Nope... is a lady, a nice person, perfectly well... I mean the service.
she : I can also get you a lady agent...
(she start to act crazy)
me : Hey, I stick with my agent not because she is a lady ok.
she : Yeah I know...
me : But of course I prefer a lady anyway
(I also start to tease her)
she : (Laugh)
me : Actually she has been in very good service... ok don't think on the wrong side please.
she : Haha is you who make me think on the wrong side...
me : So that is your own problem.
she : You are funny huh, I think I may want to meet you myself.
(Still insist to meet huh)
me : No you don't.
she : Yes I am, why not? You voice seems young, i think you are only late 20 or 30++ right?
(any relation? but it makes my day.)
me : Ehm..
she : Am I right? So when to meet?
(she never give up)
me : Haha I told you you don't want to meet me, you sure will regret...
she : Why would I?
me : Yeah you will.
she : No I won't.
me : You will regret too late to meet me...
she : (Chuckle) Like that I must meet you lo.
(nice, last try)
me : But later you don't want to leave me how?
she : (Chuckle again) you are such a funny guy, I think you will regret to meet me instead.
me : Why you say so...
she : Aiya... I very ugly 1 ma.
(good reverse strategy)
me : Hey have some confident on yourself. You know, no matter how bad the mood when the god created you, yourself always the unique element in this universe.
she : (a moment of silent)
me : You are the one, you know!
she : Haha ok, I think I will call you some other time.
me : Yeah anytime when you need someone to chat with.
she : You are so kind, sorry to disturb you today.
me : No problem, it is your job.
She : Yeah right, bye bye.
me : May god be with you, bye!
<-- finish -->

Now I know how to turn down those telemarketer liao.
Read them BIBLE.

“废”包游《番外篇一》背包后幻像冥想症

这得先声明，我本来在写着篇三，只是由于有些限制级，为了顾全读者中有十二岁以下的孩童，尽量把它整理到2.5级以下，所以迟迟未能登载。然而最近我频频受到一些电话的骚扰，无奈之下我决定要把这番外篇先行上载。


这叫做“背包后幻像冥想症”- Backpacker Visual Hallucinations and Illusion Symptoms。基本上这种病症的患者无法从自己在最后一次背包旅行的角色中抽离，短期内无法回到现实世界，进而产生了幻觉和冥想。这类病症尤其出现在第一次背包旅行的人身上，总以为自己还在背包旅行中，所以会无意识的重复自己在背包行中惯常的动作和行为。不过这种症状一般并没有攻击性，所以不用太担心。但是要切记的是，如果患者在背包旅行中曾遭遇了暴力事件，如目睹动物打斗、人性贪婪和丑恶的一面等，就会转型成Backpacker Visual Maniacs Hallucinations and Illusion Symptoms，那就危险了。


要如何诊治这种病症呢？严格来说，这种病症属于不治之症，但有两种方法来控制和缓和病情。第一种就是用药物；只要用大约6%-9%的酒精（比如corona的酒精含量)，加上少量的辣油(比如用在泰式料理PudThai的辣椒油)，四碗水煮成一碗，每天早午晚三剂，当能有效的控制病情。另一种方法是精神疗法；这种疗法需要让患者在一个宁静的地点入定，让其在无压力的状态下舒展筋骨，让脑筋得到彻底的休息，比如幻想自己正享受按摩（massage）。

我在这里衷心祝福那些患了此症的人可以早日康复，那我也不用再接到那些骚扰电话了。厄弥佗佛！

“废”包游《篇二》人类大烤炉DonDet

咱们家老幺也算是天生丽质，可就是不思长进。这话不是没根据滴，要说例子更是不胜枚举。就好像堂堂的电脑工程师不干，偏去当个什么劳子的猪持人；好好的人类不选，偏找了只猪当男朋友；好好有空调设备的房不住，偏选了没电流供应只有满街走猪的DonDet过夜。还好大少和老二也算是白痴学校出身的搅搅者，天资葱穢，不然定给老幺卖到这什么世纪人类大烤炉里去，再回头也百年深了。

当地语言Don乃岛也，Det的意思就忘了，只知道她属于Si Phan Don的其中一Don，Si Phan则是４千的意思。到底有没有４千个岛咱们就没有那么闲去逐一算；但重点不是这儿，而是这原本鸟不生蛋的岛，如果不是近年游客剧增带来的经济效益；不要说电，就是店也没能有几间。三、四月正夏，烈炎当空，是全年最热的时刻，DonDet的电流只有用发电机供应的短短晚上６到１０点４个小时，炼丹吗？

总算血浓于水，哥儿俩看在同一母生的份上，好言相劝，谆谆善诱，总算把老幺引回了正途。三兄妹决定在有电流供应的大岛DonKhong住，然后用DayTour的方式游DonDet，算是圆满结局。。。慢着，这当儿竟忘了咱们可是三人一畜，那猪呢就，哦，原来被烤成了金猪上神抬了。

“废”包游《篇一》原来Limo比Hotel贵

这话一思固然匪夷，但事儿给牵上了咱们那微服出游的大少爷却也相得益彰。回说当日大少一抵曼古机场就给老二来个追魂ring不停。咱老二是典型背包族，人正从大城回曼古的火车上老神在在。在被大少穷问了一千八百三十八次后（1838～叫老爹押），只好在其淫威之下随口谑了一个记忆犹新的酒店名字：＂Rambuttri Inn＂。心想如果大少遵照电邮的指示乘AirportExpress到Khaosan一带，屈指算来就算自己用爬的都会先到，所以才暂且用个酒店名字栋一栋。


岂知人算不如天算，天算不如懒人算。约20分钟后简讯中竟传来一个房间号码，D3-xx；靠！这大少，竟然先到了。原来他没耐心在机场找AirportExpress，就直接包了辆limo到Khaosan。嘿大爷，Khaosan号称背包街，您那花了1100泰珠的limo施施然的在那儿来个月球漫步，不给人大眼瞪小眼才怪。要了房间，一问之下一个双人房不过800泰珠，大少一愣，犹如恍然大悟：＂原来HOTEL还比LIMO便宜。。。＂。鸟！

“废”包游《前言》

四兄妹一起去背包，能干出什么好事？
一个字：“废”。
让我娓娓道来。。。


先来一张“废”照，陆续还会（图文并茂）有来。。。